Crawling out of a rut

So I've been in a bit of a rut lately. I didn't need anyone to point it out to me, I felt it and definitely could see it in the mirror. The first trimester is said to be the hardest. With Mason, I didn't have that problem. The pregnancy and labor were so not what I had expected and easy, that I knew it had to be too good to be true. At least I knew ahead of time, that things could be different with this pregnancy.

The end of the first trimester is approaching, and I couldn't be more excited. From the very beginning, I have been tired, moody, bloated, nauseous, puking, and lets not forget about the heartburn. I mean, who gets heartburn from water? Oh yeah, that would be me. Not to mention that it's just an awkward stage, because your body is changing and you are in between looking like you have gained a few extra pounds and pregnant. I was so bloated one time around 6 weeks, that when we went to the grocery store, a lady asked how far along I was. I didn't let it bother me, but that lady was brave. It's a good thing, my hormones weren't in over drive that afternoon, otherwise I would have started crying right in the middle of the checkout lane.

My rut sprouted from the pregnancy and just started to grow from there. For a month, I would wake up, put hair back in a pony tail, because I didn't feel like styling it and having to deal with the hassle of blow-drying my hair. Just standing up made me sick, so the last thing I wanted to do was stand (even though I could have gotten a chair) and take the time to do my hair each morning. Not to mention, I'm growing it out and it's in the in between stage.

If I wasn't doing my hair, I surely didn't feel like putting makeup on. I seriously have such an easy 10 minute routine of makeup, but I didn't care to bother. Besides, it would probably come off from the tears streaming down my face every time I puked. I would throw on a t-shirt and shorts, because it was comfortable and I didn't want to waste my cute clothes, if I didn't look or feel cute. This had become a daily ritual.

I knew that I was in a rut, but didn't care enough to really think about it or doing something about it until today. There is absolutely nothing special about today, except that I woke up this morning with the realization that I don't feel sick anymore, my hormones have leveled off, and the only real problem is my heartburn. So if I was feeling back to normal, why shouldn't I look that way.

In high school, I always used to say that I would never, never let myself get to that point. I guess I was a bit naive. But in all honestly, I still kind of feel that way. I have never been the one that would leave the house without makeup or at least look somewhat cute and put together. It's not that I cared what other people thought, because I didn't. If anything, I cared about it and it was important to me. Looking back, I loved getting ready and picking out a cute outfit. It was never for a guy or a friend, it was always for me. So why did I fall away from that?

I don't really know. Right now, I'm sticking with my excuse of the pregnancy. But I do know, that this morning, I showered, blow-dried my hair and styled it, put on some makeup and I feel so much better. I couldn't believe how much my hair has grown. I guess when it is constantly pulled back in a pony tail, you don't notice.